


And In The End, The Love You Take, Is Equal To The Love You Make

by CastielWinchester96



Series: Deaf!Sam Verse [30]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Deaf, Deaf Character, Deaf Sam, Deaf Sam Winchester, Episode: s05e04 The End, M/M, Protective Castiel, Sastiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 03:15:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12497436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester96/pseuds/CastielWinchester96
Summary: Tag to 5x04Cas misses Sam and he's pissed.





	And In The End, The Love You Take, Is Equal To The Love You Make

_‘Bzzzzzzzzzzz... Bzzzzzzzzzzz... Bzzzzzzzzzzz...’_

Dean snatched up the phone and hit accept.

“Cas?”

“Dean.”

“If this is some phone call to try and make me change my mind, it’s not happening, just FYI.”

“What? What? I didn't—I didn't get that.” Came Cas’ reply along with an extremely large amount of background noise.

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

“Cas, where the hell are you?”

“Side of a road.”

“You know, it’s kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It’s, you know, like watching a Hell’s Angel ride a moped.”

“This isn’t funny, Dean. The voice says I’m almost out of minutes and I can’t get a hold of Sam.”

“Then use a payphone.”

“Dean, this is serious, he’s not answering his phone to me and I’m getting worried.”

“Don’t be, he’ll just be sulking someplace.” Dean retorted.

“I got a voicemail from him and he sounded, distressed... scared. Have you heard from him?”

“Nope. Not since he took off.”

“Something’s wrong.”

“Something’s always wrong, Cas. But Sam’s a big boy, and he wants independence, so let’s give him it.”

“You sound bitter.”

Dean ignores the dig. “Sam knows what he wants. He can deal with the consequences.”

“He’s your brother.”

“He kicked me to the curb for a demon.”

“You know what...” Cas began angrily, before his voice cut out.

‘ _Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..._ ’

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

Dialing tone.

Clearly Cas’ phone had ran out of minutes.

Dean sighed.

“Good talk.”

* * *

Later that night, Dean was awoken by the sound of his phone vibrating once again.

“Damn it, Cas, I need to sleep!”

“Dean, it’s me, I heard from Sam.”

“And?...”

“And, this is important.”

Dean sighs but reluctantly does get up out of bed.

* * *

“So Sam’s his vessel, huh? Just when he thought he was out, they pulled him back in.”

“Is that it? That’s your response?” Cas challenged.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. A little panic? Maybe?

“I guess I’m a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point.”

“So what are we gonna’ do about it?” Cas asked.

“What do you want to do about it?”

“Well, he wants back in, for starters.”

“Cas—“

“Look, Sam said it himself, he’s sick of being a puppet to the angels and wants to hunt them down.”

“Oh, so, we're back to revenge, then, are we? Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last time.”

“Even though he has nothing to prove to you, he’d do it anyway. Sam can do this.”

“Cas, it doesn’t matter—whatever we do. I mean, Sam and I, we’re the fire and the oil of Armageddon.” He takes a breath. “I need to talk to him.” And with that, he hung up.

‘ _Cas told me what you found out_ ’ He texted.

Almost immediately, Sam replied.

‘ _I want back in. I can do this, Dean._ ’

‘ _No. There’s too much at stake. Like I told Cas, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good._ ’

‘ _Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it._ ’

‘ _Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways._ ’

A few seconds later, another text appeared.

‘ _Dean, don't do this._ ’

Dean sighed before replying one last time.

‘ _Bye, Sam._ ’

* * *

After Freaky Friday went down with his future self, Dean snuck into the cabin Chuck had pointed him towards. There he found Cas, slumped half against the wall, half lying on the floor with a tourniquet tied tight around his upper arm, various old needles surrounding him. His eyes were closed.

“Cas?”

Dean rushed over and placed a hand to the angel’s neck to check for a pulse.

“Cas?!” He shook him.

Cas grumbled before opening his eyes. Scowling, he pushed Dean away.

“Get off me!”

Before Dean could say another word, Cas’ eyes widened before pure anger appeared in his expression.

“Where did you come from?”

“What?”

“You...you’re not from this time.”

“No! Yes, exactly!”

“What year are you from?” Cas got shakily to his feet.

“2009.”

“2009.” Cas repeated, breathing becoming heavier until he lashed out, slamming a punch across Dean’s face, sending him flying to the floor.

“Cas! What the fuck?!”

“You ruined my life!” He shouted.

“Wait? What?”

“After Sam found out he was Lucifer’s vessel, he didn’t know what to do. All he needed was the support of his big brother. But what did you go and do, shove it all back in his face and refused to answer his calls.” Cas paused. “I never managed to get back in touch with him after you guys last exchanged texts. Every time I would get close to tracking him down, he’d have already moved on. He spent his life endlessly trying to outrun Lucifer. I would visit motel room after motel room trying to find him, across the entire country.”

“He did all that just to end up saying yes?” Dean queried.

The angel took a breath before finding Dean’s gaze.

“Do you know how it feels to find your boyfriend’s blood all over the walls, or in pools on the floor. Or to find empty pill bottles scattered around?”

Dean looked distraught.

“Sam didn’t just say ‘yes’ to Lucifer, Lucifer tortured him every waking second. He wouldn’t let him die, no matter how hard Sam tried, it seemed. And then finally, something must’ve happened where he couldn’t do it anymore, and he caved. Then Lucifer took over his vessel and destroyed the Earth.”

The angel moved impossibly close to the hunter.

“So, in short. You ruined my life. You ruined Sam’s life. And without a shadow of a doubt, yes, I absolutely, completely and utterly blame you for everything that has happened. I lost Sam because of you, so you can go fuck yourself if you came in here to try and get my help for anything.”

Cas stormed out.

* * *

2014!Dean had ordered Cas to drive Dean to the operation spot. The two had spent the entire time sitting in silence. It was only when Cas popped upon a pill bottle and downed some of the meds from it that Dean broke the peace.

“The hell are you doing?” He snatched the bottle and read the label. “Amphetamines?”

“It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe.”

“Mmm. Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but what's going on with the drugs?”

“I don’t care anymore.”

“Cas...”

“I’m not an angel. I went mortal.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“I think it had something to do with my soulmate dying, you know, that little thing. Oh, and then all the other angels left. When they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I'm practically human. I'm all but useless. But what’s the point. Sam’s gone... what else is there to live for now?” Cas turned to Dean. “You used to have the same outlook, what happened?”

“I let him down.” Dean admitted. “I should have been there for him.”

“Yeah.” The angel nodded. “You should.”

* * *

Upon reaching the old house, 2014!Dean had given his orders before the homemade troops began to lay siege. Cas had snuck off round the side towards the forest, dying for another hit.

It was then that he heard a bush rustling close by.

Eyes locking on the source, Cas raised his gun and slowly approached.

Suddenly a man appeared, trundling through the thick branches, cut up and bruised from head to toe.

Cas gasped.

“Sam?”

Cas dropped the gun and sprinted over to the figure.

The figure stiffened, breathing heavily in fear.

With a smile, Cas began to sign.

‘Sam’

The name sign they have created together.

“c...as?” The small, tortured, raw voice sounded foreign to him after so long, but Cas didn’t care regardless.

“It’s me, Sam.” He confirmed with a tearful nod before closing the short distance between them and pulling Sam into the tightest, protective hug.

Sam returned it with equal vigour before beginning to sob painfully.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He comforted, hoping that he had just enough grace left for his boyfriend to still hear him inside his head.

The way Sam melted further into him told Cas that it was working.

Cas smiled before beginning to hum the melodies he would always use to comfort Sam all those years ago.

“I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again, okay, Sam? I’m here now, and I’m never leaving. We will get through this, just you and me against the world.”

“i-I l-u-lu-v you, c-as.” Sam spoke up, softly.

“I love you too, Sam.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this one, there is definitely some further cute Sastiel potential here.


End file.
